#AND A GENIUS

[queenbeedarling]

Okay, I made a post a little bit ago about how we should call Fiddleford x Stanford Ford², and now I'm here with another idea!

For this one, it's for Fiddlestan. Or Fiddleford x Stanley. I give you:

Fiddley!

I mean, Fiddlestan could be easily confused for Ford². Plus, Fiddleford and Stanley are silly geese! They'd think Fiddley would be funny!

Think about it! Ford² for a pair of nerds, and Fiddley for a pair of idiots!

[idontknowreallywhy]

This one accosted me while I was trying to write something else (which appears to be A Pattern for me and writing… well… anything actually). It is very much inspired by many enjoyable conversations / informal therapy sessions with @astranite who shares my “what’s really going on with Scott” headcanon, and at the same time helped me figure out what might be going on with me too. Thank you for everything and for helping me nudge this into something shareable.

It’s also inspired by @sofasurf’s amazing set of fics about Scott’s struggles in the early days post Jeff disappearing. It’s absolutely right that after an initial crisis his brothers and grandma would have put in measures to stop him needing to work so hard and bear it all alone and I love how she tells that story.

And yet… we have Scott who 6 years later is still up late sat at that thrice-darned desk.. brothers aside, he’s CEO of a company that would employ a lot of competent people to sort out all the nitty gritty paperwork. So why is he still frequently found asleep there 6 years on?

This is my attempt to figure out some of the Reason… and not in any way a side quest distracting me from my own Big Document nemesis. Nope.

It is, however, 99% projection for which I hope you’ll forgive me. Hopefully it’s not too out of character.

Sort of an emotional hurt-comfort thing. The ending is very silly because that is apparently how I roll.

Trochilidae

Scott shook his head irritably as his eyelids drooped and flung out his hand to grab his mug… which promptly took a nose dive off the desk.

Allowing himself to face plant the polished wood for a moment he acknowledged he was, at least, lucky it was empty. Something he really should have remembered as that would have been the 5th time he had raised it to his lips only to be disappointed at the lack of caffeinated wake up juice within.

Not that it was doing any good. He scowled. It never did. The miraculous transformation from ‘Sleep of the Dead’ to ‘Alert and Ready’ that the brown stuff could bring about in Virgil and Brains remained a mystery to him. Drinking it kind of kept him grounded though, maybe that was just habit by now. Nevertheless… he shoved his chair back and stood up, glaring at the chunks of ceramic on the floor: a job for future Scott. He went to get a new mug.

Re-entering the living room, he surveyed the scene. All was quiet. Deep breath… stretch out shoulders… he tilted his head from side to side to shift the tension in his neck with a satisfying series of cracks.

1am. No problem.

He was nearly done and then he could get to bed and get a solid 4 hours oblivion before his morning run.

Back at his desk, he took a fortifying gulp of focus juice, put on his determined face, picked up his tablet and swiped up to open the annual report again. He blitzed through another three paragraphs, noted down 4 questions for the board, one for the accountant and one further point to follow up with Jack, the Tracy family lawyer, before his eye was drawn to the broken mug scattered across the floor.

Probably shouldn’t leave that.

Gordon might wander by in those flimsy deck shoes and mortally wound himself.

He laid the tablet back down, pointed at it and muttered” don’t go anywhere” to the document that had been tormenting him. Blinking rapidly as he realised quite how little sense THAT had made, he crouched down to nudge the scattered fragments into a pile he could scoop up into the waste basket.

From this angle he realised there was a lot more than just decimated mug and coffee splatters down here… there were crumbs galore, odd, sticky patches and… yes he was pretty sure that the mysterious patch of shadow tucked away under the back corner of the desk was the better part of a club sandwich. He shuffled over, crablike, and reached underneath to retrieve it, sniffed it cautiously and was just concluding it was unlikely to be worth the subsequent food poisoning when John’s hologram popped up in front of him. He didn’t even glance up to see the inevitable raised eyebrow.

“Don’t even say it, John.”

Obediently his space-brother remained silent.

“I’m nearly done. I’m just signing off the annual report for the board meeting tomorrow.”

“From… under the desk?”

Blue eyes were cast upwards as Scott strode over to the kitchen to dispose of the rancid but weirdly tempting sandwich. There was no liner in the food waste caddy. He tutted and placed the plate on the counter top to deal with in a minute.

“Obviously not, I just spotted that Gordon had left something gross lying around and we don’t want a repeat of the taco incident.”

“Okay, and what are you doing now?”

Scott looked down at the cleaning bot in his hands.

“I… well it’s clearly not been working, the place is a health hazard so I was just going to see if I could…”

This time he did raise his eyes to meet the eyebrow of judgment.

Holding up the bot for John to examine, he grinned at his little brother and shook it gently.

“Look it has googly eyes! I bet that was Gordon.”

“Unlikely to be causing the malfunction. Get Brains to take a look at it tomorrow. Or Alan, he needs the practice.”

“True. Oh, did you see the note his teacher sent through?” Scott returned the bot to its housing and jogged over to his desk to pull up the email in question. He sat down and started to type a reply.

“Scott.”

“Mmhmm?”

“I saw it. It’s non-urgent.”

“Yes but while I think of it I might as well…”

“It’s 1:27am. Why don’t you just sign off the report and get some rest. It’ll keep.”

A melodramatic huff and the offending document was returned to the screen.

“You’ve been reading this for the last four days, Scott. What’s the issue? Can I help?”

“There are just so many points I need to follow up before I can put my name to it.” Scott highlighted a particular paragraph. “What if the data this is based on is inaccurate? I haven’t seen it!” He stabbed at another “These assertions here… is it ok to say that? I need to check the industry standards for…” he gestured vehemently “six or seven of these baseline metrics. The grammar in the narrative paragraphs feels clumsy. And I haven’t even started proof-reading it for typos yet!”

Scott took a deep shuddering breath and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, weaving his fingers into his hair and gripping slightly harder than was comfortable as if that would ease the headache he knew was starting.

“The accountants have checked it, the divisional heads have checked it, Jack has been all over it at least twice. Virgil and the engineering team went through it with a fine tooth comb last week, they’ll know the baselines. I’ve checked it myself. Even EOS had a look.”

The response was barely audible.

“But what if… it’s not good enough? If someone missed something and… I didn’t spot it…”

“You don’t have to spot everything Scott. We pay smart people very generously to spot things. As CEO you are allowed to rely on them.”

Silence.

“Please… can you trust us?”

Holding his breath to fight a wave of nausea, Scott flipped to the final page of the document and added his digital signature.

With ninja-like speed John had saved the file and forwarded it to the board.

“It’s done, big brother. Go and sleep in your actual bed for a change.”

A swift shake of the head and muttered curse as big brother realised he’d gnawed through his bottom lip again.

“Can’t.” He stood up and paced the room.

“You know, maybe you shouldn’t have caffeine so late. Even Virgil…”

Scott’s snapped explanation that it made no difference whatsoever and that John KNEW that was forestalled by a series of beeps followed by a low hum as the cleaning bot started trawling across the floor.

“EOS?”

“Yeah, I asked her to see whether a firmware update would sort it.”

“Right.”

The brothers watched in silence as the little machine zigzagged around the room, bumping from one obstacle to another in an apparently haphazard fashion.

“It doesn’t seem very efficient does it?”

Scott sank suddenly to the floor in an effort to hide the fact his legs had turned to jelly.

“No, but it’ll get there in the end and everything will be done and it will all be ok.”

He snorted at his brother’s lack of subtlety and rested his forehead on his knees, concentrating on breathing evenly. He was fine. It was all fine. Again.

A few minutes passed before he noticed a faint high pitched giggle and his moment of peace was interrupted by the cleaning bot repeatedly bumping into his hip. He lifted his head to glare at it only for his eyes to make contact with the outsized googly ones jiggling wildly with each collision. His shoulders shook and he pressed his lips together to try to contain the rush of emotion rising up in his chest.

“EOS!”

As John turned to lecture the AI about when it was and wasn’t appropriate to annoy older brothers, the bot froze, all unblinking innocence gazing up at him. Scott let slip the smallest chortle then, after a beat, exploded, throwing back his head with howls of laughter, tears running down his face

It took him a while to compose himself enough to notice he was now lying on his back on the living room floor, John smiling down at him like some benevolent heavenly messenger. Smugness permeated through EOS’s voice as she enquired whether the Commander was much better now. He hiccuped. Then nodded. As he peeled himself off the floor and patted the cleaning bot absently, Scott found himself seized by An Idea.

And so it was that as Gordon awoke with his dawn alarm to find a 6-day old sandwich with giant eyes watching him from his bedside table.

The screech of a horrified squid echoed through the villa and was swiftly followed by the slamming of doors and the thundering of feet as most of its occupants tore to the rescue of a brother in distress.

The eldest brother remained precisely where he was, warm and comfortable, listening to the chaos and bemused voices. He smiled to himself and drifted back off to sleep.

[AO3]

[childotkw]

I've been thinking of this for a few days and didn't have anywhere to put it, so here it goes.

Viserys has ordered for a feast, perhaps his last he will ever get to witness, and he has made the mistake to give the organizing responsibility to Alicent. Alicent worships the Seven however, so she is very much against partying. So is Otto, and the other Greens. Save perhaps Aegon.

Rhaenyra hears this, for Daemon still has friends in the court in King's Landing, and she sends two of her children to help these miserably serious people out. They desperately need the help, it seems.

These two children of Rhaenyra are Lucerys and Rhaena, they are to inherit Driftmark together one day, and they have been in the bestest of celebrations, for House Velaryon loves to show everyone just how rich they are.

Lucerys and Rhaena comes to King's Landing to help for this supposed feast, only to find that Mother had been right. King's Landing is silent. There are no children running around, no celebrations being held in Flea Bottom, no tournaments, no nothing. Red Keep is stripped from its cultural Targaryen patestries and arts, instead Seven Pointed Star is everywhere they look. This simply cannot do. They quickly understand that they have to interviene, or else this isn't going to be anything fun like the ones Rhaenyra and Daemon throw back in Dragonstone, or the ones Rhaenys and Corlys throw in Driftmark. These people just dont know how to party. So they take it upon themselves to organize this feast, and the Greens are furious.

Lucerys notices Otto and Alicent first, the looks they give especially to him. He supposes Alicent is justified though, for he was the one who had taken her son's eye all those years ago, but Otto looks at him like he is some feral animal that needs to be put down. Then he notices that he has missed Helaena, his aunt and the least irritating of the Greens. Helaena tries multiple times to involve her creepy crawlies in this feast, Lucerys and Rhaena do not let her however. Then comes Aegon, who is more than happy to have them take over and put an end to the castle's suffering. Aegon claims the keep's walls cry at night, he hears them, he tells Lucerys. He tells him that he is grateful they are stepping up to bring Red Keep back to its full glory again.

Then there is Aemond. The looks he gives Lucerys dont go un-noticed. Lucerys has changed, yes. He is not the small boy he was anymore, he is still quite young, but not a literal kid. This change must've been peculiar to Aemond, for he comments on his choice of clothes and jewelry, he tells him that he looks like a maid more than a man. This does upset him, Lucerys cannot lie. He prefers to look good is all, he isn't some maid. He is very much a boy. Rhaena shoo's Aemond away whenever she can, but his uncle finds ways to cross paths with him. Lucerys is tired, he is tired from the constant organizing of this big feast, so he decides he'll ignore Aemond.

Days pass and the keep is more lively than its been for years, Viserys is content and praises Lucerys' and Rhaena's work. The servants are happier and the knights aren't as miserable. Rhaena sends Lucerys down to Flea Bottom, she tells him to do his magic there too. In the mornings when there is still light he helps the people with their errands. And when the sun sets and night life begins he visits pleasure houses and bars and all the other places. He provides the owners of these places with coin and advices. When the smallfolk starts calling him the new Realm's Delight, and the new Prince of the City he cannot help but smile.

With these new titles given to him, Lucerys notices Aemond even angrier than before, and he cannot take it anymore. He goes to him, one night. They are in the God's Wood. He sits down beside him and they talk, they talk for hours. Lucerys admits the remorse he feels towards Aemond, not because he stopped him from possibly killing Jace that faithful night, but because his actions has caused him so much loss. An eye, for godssake. Aemond admits his ignorant behavior and his insulting words too. He admits to find Lucerys' care for his looks endearing too. They look at each other, all these years, they have been away from each other, and for something that they solved in one night, with one talk. What they do after is only for them and for the gods to know.

When Viserys speaks to Lucerys and Rhaena of his wishes for a tournament they get to work quickly. With this, they struggle. They are all about the aesthetic and the food and the scent and the everything. What they don't know are the safety measurments of tournaments. Lucerys goes to Aemond, and Aemond agrees to help them. So now the three of them are running from places to places, always occupied with some Lord or servant or maester asking for their opinions on the seat arreangments or the colors of the carpets and the curtains or the songs that will be needed to play.

It is exhausting, they do admit. But it is so worth the effort when it is finally done, for there are so many guests. So many high lords and ladies of Westeros are present, there are even Martells, people from Essos, the Summer Islands. It is a sight to see.

Rhaenyra and her bunch come next and Lucerys sees in her eyes that she is proud. It is even better when Aemond asks him for a dance, in the same feast he has been so busy with organizing.

And when Aemond asks for Lucerys' favor in the tournament, and wins the whole damn thing, Lucerys feels as though he could spend all his days with him.

Oh god I love this so much. Mainly the fact that it all starts because Rhaenyra goes "oh those poor repressed fools have no idea how to have a party" (sympathetic). And then Lucerys and Rhaena both get there and immediately are like "oh gods these poor repressed fools have no idea how to have a party" (derogatory).

Perfection.

When Lucerys is first told he and Rhaena will be going to King's Landing to assist with feast preparations, he's both excited and nauseous. Excited, because a small sliver of him will always consider the Red Keep home, and nauseous because...well...it's obvious why.

But arriving there and seeing what's been done to the place - no red and black, no Valyrian art, no heritage carefully, meticulously chiselled into the walls, no three-headed dragon - it's distressing.

Rhaena takes one look at Lucerys (her brother, best friend, confidant and maybe, hopefully, future husband), sees his little frown and sad eyes, and decides then and there that they would bring the glory of their family back to this bland and disappointing keep.

Luke's always been her favourite, after all, and it's not like anyone can judge her because he's everyone's favourite - so silently declaring war on the Queen's idea of what makes a good feast is par for the course.

It's Rhaena who slips into the King's chambers one afternoon, not even blinking when it takes him a long minute to remember who she is. It's Rhaena who, with the smile and eyes of her father, convinces Viserys to pass control of the feast over to her and Lucerys. It's Rhaena who stands, arms linked with her favourite person, before the Queen and the Hand and her Hightower cousins and members of the Small Council, as the King makes the change known publicly.

Lucerys' smile makes the oncoming headache worth it, in her eyes.

Initially, the adults in the room grumble and nod and stiffly smile, thinking they still have control, but Lucerys and Rhaena quickly debase them of the notion.

(Why people always assume she and Lucerys are the nicer of their siblings, Rhaena will never understand. Daemon had chortled when he saw them off, ruffling Luke's hair and kissing Rhaena on the forehead, and actually ordered them to behave.

Daemon Targaryen, asking for restraint from someone else.

If anyone else saw that they would think themselves going mad.)

But regardless, Lucerys and Rhaena are now in charge. A boy of fourteen and a girl of fifteen, coordinating an entire keep of people. It would be ridiculous if they weren't, somehow, good at it. They're a team, making decisions with an easy confidence, and there's a begrudging sort of respect that crops up in some members of the Small Council.

Because bastard or not, girl or not, Lucerys and Rhaena have been educated in a variety of subjects, and they put that knowledge to good use.

And they might be outnumbered by Greens but they stand back-to-back and protect each other, and nothing is stronger in the world than two Targaryens in agreement.

They steamroll over detractors, aware of the eyes on them, and slowly the wider social circles begin to whisper of how delightful the Princess' children are.

That Princess Rhaena is warm and kind and engaging. That she remembers the names of servants she has met once and goes out of her way to thank them for even the smallest tasks. That when her smile goes impish she is the image of her father, a man still remembered fondly by many of the small folk despite his absence.

That Prince Lucerys is gentle and sweet and compassionate. That he walks through the halls with a dancer's grace and dazzles the ladies of the court with shy grins and compliments. That he is the Realm's Delight come again, and the very image of Jocelyn Baratheon.

(Rhaena, again, is the one to slip that into conversations, and she watches with deep-seated satisfaction as people start to think Baratheon when they see Luke's dark hair, rather than Strong.)

Her decision to send him into King’s Landing is just another step in her master plan; and the compliments keep rolling in. Rhaena knows just how effective Lucerys’ charm is, and she revels in inflicting it on others.

Alicent is frustrated at how quickly things are spiralling out of their control; but Otto is seething. He thinks Lucerys and Rhaena are the worst of both their parents, but no matter what he says, Viserys is adamant the children are to remain in charge.

As for Aegon, Helaena and Aemond...

Aegon is, in a word, relieved. He wants to feel guilty for thinking it, but the fact remains that whenever Lucerys is around, attention is off him. His mother tracks his nephew's movements with half-wistfulness, half-fear. His grandsire is too deep in his scheming to pay attention to Aegon. He's free of the stifling weight of their expectations, if only for a moment, because Lucerys is there to take the heat.

Helaena is content in her own world, but surfaces occasionally to watch in quiet joy as her nephew and cousin work. The Dance isn't stopped, not yet, not so easily, but they are a step closer and Helaena whispers thankful prayers to the gods for giving them this chance.

And Aemond - well. Aemond. Lucerys does his best to avoid his uncle, shamefully using Rhaena as a shield whenever he approaches, to her endless amusement. He doesn’t ask what the two of them speak about the few times he has seen them together, he only knows that Rhaena always makes sure to touch him, to hold his hand, to press a kiss to his cheek (damningly close to the corner of his mouth) whenever Aemond is nearby. Rhaena abuses the closeness they share, delighting in how her cousin flares up in jealousy mistaken as anger.

But she also knows Lucerys better than most, and so she sits back and watches the slow, slow, slow progression Aemond and Lucerys make towards each other.

Lucerys will very likely be her husband one day, but Rhaena isn’t so insecure as to worry that he might drift towards his uncle as well.

(And if in some nebulous future, they’re amicable to it, she sees no reason why she can’t have two handsome, intense men in her bed.)

[kanene-yaaay]

Okay, I came up with this idea while healthily procrastinating. So, the Omori Crew. They're playing Hide and Seek right? But it's their own special brand of Hide and Seek where the seekers will find and tickle someone until they publicly admit (through varying degrees of laughter) they're the seeker. While the former seeker cheers at a job well done before running away while the new giggly seeker recovers and plans their next move.

Now, what none of them (well except maybe Mari and Kel) will admit is that each of them have their own personal target when they're a seeker. Aubrey goes for Mari, Mari hones in on Hero, Hero is pretty much the only one who can catch Kel, Kel then murders poor Baby Basil with tickles, Basil tries to regain his lost tickle honor by attacking Sunny, and Sunny... well he's the outlier in that he doesn't have a specific target. The little goober just loves hearing his friends laugh that he just goes after whoever he finds first. Which works out to varying degrees of success.

Mari and Hero often abuse their big sibling perks and break the rule by attacking Sunny back, specifically Sunny since they know they'd get away with it. The boy is too forgiving, even with this severe case of unfairness and injustice.

Then there's Aubrey, who Sunny knows it's a 'Tickle at your own risk' scenario because that girl is a flailer, a total wiggle worm that Aubrey. She tries to reign it in for the sanctity of the sport but can't help those nerves. But Sunny thinks it's worth the risk because he loves her joyful laughter (but don't tell anyone he thinks that, or it'll be the silent treatment until the end of time).

Kel is also high on the 'TAYOR' scale for the fact that the boy cannot help himself. He was raised in the art of the Tickle Fight and he will fight or flight his way to victory! Until he trips on a tree root and lays their motionless for Sunny to jump him. Klutz. Well at least Sunny finds his screeching laughter hilarious enough to try for it.

Anyway Basil, yeah he's easy prey. I don't make the rules the boy is too ticklish for his own good. Doesn't help that he doesn't know how to protect himself. Which hey, Basil laughter is good for the mind, body, and soul so it works out for Sunny and those within a 5 mile radius to hear his squeaky cackles.

And that's all for today folks on the Tickle Fight Programming Network or TFPN for short. See you next time for the next in depth tickle analysis of these little goobers.

I am just SCREAMING SO MUCH and SO LOUD AT THIS!!!! YES YES YEEEES YOU ARE 100% RIGHT IN EVERY SINGLE!! DETAIL!!!!

I love the fact that everyone has their specific target and that the rest of them just knows it because holy GOSH! Can you imagine the anticipation!? Like, I am here imagining Hero hiding very well and trying to keep himself quiet until he listens to the melodious, loud and full of squeaks laughter that clearly comes from Mari and a shiver run across his spine because he KNOWS that he will be the next one, so he just stays there, a wobbly smile threatening to take over his face as Mari admits that she is the next seeker and Aubrey triumphly shouts and runs to hide and then the left over giggles disappear and everything goes silent again and he just stays there ~ waiting from his moment ~ wondering if it would be safer to already run away or try to be the quietest that he can ~

Also!!!! The fact that Sunny doesn't focus on just one friend because he loves to hear everyone's laughter STAAAAP 😭😭😭💛😭💛😭💛😭💛 MY HEART IS MELTING HEREEE. HE ABSOLUTELY WOULD!!!!

The mental image of Kel just NYOOOOM then tripping and falling into a loud laughter while Sunny is there, proud of himself for making a friend happy is just too precious I am going to lay on the floor rn and cry tears of pure joy excuse me

Aubrey!!! Trying to !!!! Not wiggle too much to not hurt anyone!!! SO SWEET SO AMAIZNG SHEEEEE WOUUULD

Also!!!! BASIL'S PART YESH YESH YOU ARE VERY RIGHT HE IS JUST SO SILLY AND TICKLISH SORREY BEAN YOU'RE TOO CUTE TO RESIST 😭😭

[lily-valley-hyperfixates]

Me with the puppet history finale

[themazeceo]

Modern AU Thominho

Thomas and Minho agreed that if they didn't get a date for prom, they would go together. Days later a friend of Thomas told him that they asked Minho for prom, but was rejected because Minho already had a date. Then Thomas asked Minho if he got a date and the mf said "No, I guess we will go together".

Don't remember where I saw this prompt, just hope someone writes it and tags me...

[nishicchikouchi]

I lament the fact that there's only 108 (English) fics under the genius wei wuxian tag.

[grizzlee30]

Bruce finds out half way through not because Tim did a bad job at forging his fake twins sister’s documents, but because he forgot to make new documents for himself. He says nothing to anyone, and quietly forges the documents himself. Tim does not notice this until years later.

The only acceptable trans Tim headcanon would be Tim introducing himself to the batfam as a boy from the get-go with such confidence that no one questions him. Then, his first solo case as Robin is investigating the disappearance of Jack and Janet Drake's "daughter," so he pretends to have a twin sister by forging a bunch of documents and photoshopping family pictures. He then fabricates evidence of her death, committing multiple crimes in the process, and holds a fake funeral at the end. Because if his previous name is dead to him, he's gonna kill it the Tim Drake way

[spelldealer]

do the kids today even know about azlyrics? the calming lavender?

[infectiouspiss]

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

[sickfreaksirkay]

“no rapping tonight"

why?

"you rap about arthurian knights everytime, it's embarrassing"

ok

[after one beer]

uh oh y'all i go into a trance a lot

[absolutechaosss]

Favorite bit of adventurers bible lore is that Marcille was a researcher developing new healing magic before she joined the party but then learned all the offensive spells we see her use in a single day. Insane behavior. Imagine knowing the top med student in the country and one day she drops out of her cancer research program and perfects the art of making pipe bombs in 24 hours.

[sleepy-bebby]

[cottonpuffmouse]

“Why is such a man alive. Tell me, can he be allowed to go on defiling the Earth?”

[storybookprincess]

this bit has absolutely no right to be this funny